Friday, March 6, 2020

Inuyasha Manga: 186 Lost Mind

Hey! I haven't lost it... yet. Sure, I almost cried when my work computer refused to connect to the printers today, but I'm not throwing the damn thing across the room. I might get irrationally angry at my fellow shoppers at the grocery store for standing right in the middle of the fucking aisle, but I'm not the one with uncontrollable youkai blood that takes me over and sets me on a homicidal rampage. All I have is a shopping list on which I can never seem to find everything, and then I can't do half of my meal plans, so I end up eating WAAAY too many frozen pizzas and boxed mac n' cheese, and does anyone else hear the ocean???

No, it's NOT like looking in the mirror. Don't @ me, as the young folk say.

Inuyasha tears right through the fleeing bandits, blood spraying every which way. Kagome calls his name in desperation, other friends looking on in horror from behind her. But now that he's ripped into those lovely throw pillows on the couch, he's too riled up to react to tone.

If only there was something Kagome could say that would compel him to stop what he's doing and take a SEAT for a minute or two. Wouldn't THAT be something.

Inuyasha's OP blood pulses with power once again as he heads off a group of running bandits, leaping in front of them. They collapse on the ground, stuttering to be spared and forgiven, offering up the excuse that they were only doing what their boss told them. Yeah, "I was just doing my job" isn't the get-out-of-jail-free card you're presenting it as. Just ask the SS. Inuyasha appears completely unmoved by their pleas as Kagome runs toward him, demanding desperately that he stop it.

He just grins behind his elongated fangs and cracks his knuckles.

I feel like that's not entirely accurate, Miroku.

Inuyasha keeps smiling on through the layers of blood splattered all over him by this point, still swimming in that power-high. Kagome is frozen, dumbfounded that he seems so happy about killing people. A trembling Shippou on the edge of tears clings to Kagome's shoulder and says he really doesn't like Inuyasha looking like that, and urges Kagome to get Inuyasha's Tessaiga to him, that she's still got clutched in her hands. He's disappeared by the next panel when she dashes forward without another thought but a silent begging for Inuyasha to return to normal.

I'm not sure if I should classify her as brave for how fast she responds, or stupid for how she doesn't consider doing the one thing that could possibly SUBDUE him right now. Either way, she's just MORE than I am.

As Kagome approaches, Inuyasha gets skittish and leaps high into the air away from her. He lands on the ground in the path of a figure walking toward the scene a short distance away. A distinct fabulous form half-draped in fur. Kagome, Sango and Miroku all stare open-mouthed. Shippou is conspicuous only in his absence.

A little bit late to see your cheap imitation eat it, Sesshoumaru. What, were you off rolling in fairy rings for the last few minutes? Is that why you seem to be trailing spores?

Kagome identifies Sesshoumaru with just as much worry as she regarded the situation with before. Probz because she only has a limited amount of worry, and it hit maximum a long time ago. Miroku wonders aloud what Sesshoumaru is even DOING here. Sesshoumaru doesn't answer, because he's too busy coincidentally thinking about the explanation of Bokusenou that brought him here; that the blood of a full youkai that Inuyasha inherited from his father is far too strong for a hanyou body, his mind would be eaten away with repeated transformations, and his mind would eventually be lost completely. You get the gist.

Sesshoumaru stares dispassionately at Inuyasha hunched a ways in front of him, and Inuyasha cracks his knuckles at him in aggressive response, like some sort of half-formed warning. Sesshoumaru tells him to prepare himself, to test the extent of his transformed strength. Fucking pop quizzes man. Inuyasha lunges at Sesshoumaru, though, because he apparently studied for this one.

But Sesshoumaru just raises Toukijin to point it at Inuyasha lazily.

Guys, if he didn't hear any of you before, what makes you think he can with the sound of his own skin shredding in his ears? Miroku plows ahead with his logical argument that Toukijin can mince an enemy with the remote pressure of its blade alone and Inuyasha will be beaten before he can even touch Sesshoumaru. He's the kind of guy who tries to verbally persuade his cat to shit in a box rather than his bed. That cat would shit on his pillow next while maintaining eye contact the entire time, just like Inuyasha concentrates all the harder on the enemy in front of him, ignoring Miroku with all his might.

See Miroku? Problem solved.

Shippou has reappeared on Kagome's shoulder to make a worried noise, and Sango on her other side comments in disbelief on Inuyasha just punching the sword aside. Inuyasha's fist explodes in blood from this little stunt, but he keeps his focus on Sesshoumaru as he lands, who scoffs at his wasted effort. While that might have gotten a rise out of the easily flustered regular Inuyasha, blood-lust Inuyasha don't give a shit, and raises his bleeding hand to rush Sesshoumaru again. Sesshoumaru leaps out of the way, just in time for Inuyasha to swipe at the ground where he was just standing.

Whoo, it seems like this might go on for a while. Sesshoumaru swings and points his sword in midair, which appears to be entirely for show, because in the next panel he's got both feet on the ground again, striking a sideways defensive pose as Inuyasha comes at him again. He's so bored he's taken up interpretive dance in the last couple of minutes. Anyway, Shippou cries that Inuyasha is COVERED in blood, as Kagome yells at Inuyasha to stop it. Because if he stops, that's NOT going to leave him open to an attack from the dude who walked up in here spoiling for a fight with him.

Although, said dude is pensive at this point, wondering at Inuyasha if he feels any fear. Even more than that, Sesshoumaru thinks, Inuyasha doesn't even seem to feel PAIN as he pushes past his many injuries, his grimace one of pure aggression rather than hurt. Once more, Bokusenou's words come back to Sesshoumaru, about the formerly hypothetical of Inuyasha's mind being eaten away by youkai blood, its owner not recognizing anyone, fighting until his body is gone. Sesshoumaru scoffs that this is pitiful, now fully understanding in what must be his 100th consideration of the concept. He gets now that Inuyasha has not ascended to perfect youkai-dom, in the end nothing but a hanyou.

The visual aids must be what clinched it for him.

I never thought it was possible, but Sesshoumaru somehow managed to combine a motivational and de-motivational poster into a strange quantum-motivational hybrid. Which should really piss him off, considering how much he hates hybrids.

So, what did I think of this chapter overall? All the layers of horror really stood out to me. Though Inuyasha's targets are ostensibly bad guys who weren't batting an eye at the suffering they caused everyone else before, their deaths are presented as terrible. It's not framed as justice for their destructive and harmful actions, it's just a massacre. Even if it's a little poetic that the power dynamic has flipped on them, it manages at the same time to be repulsive. Not only because most of their power in the moment before Inuyasha killed their boss came from that strong youkai backing, but also because no matter who is in the position of begging for their lives, it evokes a sense of primal existential dread. In the swipe of a claw, those men aren't around anymore, their fragile lives extinguished just as easily as their victims the villagers.

And with a similar ease to Inuyasha's sentience. He's at the mercy of his youkai blood just as much as the bandits, overpowered by a cold, deadly force that threatens to kill everyone and everything on impulse alone. There is no reasoning or pleading with it; it just tears through Inuyasha and overtakes every part of him, body and will. His very face reflects how alien he has become, not even resembling himself anymore, because he's been pushed out - he's no longer in there. There's just pure, autonomous aggression left.

Which inspires a whole different angle of fear from his friends, watching their normally abrasive but discerning friend disappear into a cloud of homicidal rage. This is a guy who grew up in alienation from both sides of his heritage, yet still manages to restrain himself when entertaining a fight with humans. Entitled white boys have gone on murder sprees for a lot less. This in addition to the eerie silence as he's slicing through everything that moves drives home the ultimate terrible fact that he's not the guy they all knew. It begs the question if Inuyasha can actually come back, or if he'll ever be the same if he does. Through all this nervous uncertainty and outright fear that Inuyasha might be beyond any help at this point, it's actually not all that surprising to me that she didn't use her "sit" command. There's no telling that it would even work as far gone as he is, and getting Tessaiga back to him is the only method that is known to curb the effects.

At last, Sesshoumaru's reaction gives us a bit of a reprieve, because his newly acquired knowledge of the issue and more distant concern pulls the reader back just a bit. He does still express a slight amount of emotion - there appears to be the smallest level of disturbance in a couple of those panels, as he regards Inuyasha's unchecked mindless rage. Even HE knows Inuyasha enough to be put off by the facsimile before him, even if it manifests more as pity and a little bit of affront that Inuyasha's blood gives him a convincing veneer of full youkai. There's something about the way Bokusenou's description of Inuyasha's mind being eaten away echoes in Sesshoumaru's head over and over that suggests the idea bothers him deeply.

Or maybe I'm wrong and Sesshoumaru just has one of those FACES.

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