Yu-Gi-Oh Manga: 143 Battle of 0 Attack Strength!

Seems to me that this is bound to be more of a massacre than a battle. The God Ogre may as well straight up murder some infant in a crib for how much of a "battle" it's going to engage in with Yuugi's new monster. Hell, the new monster may as well BE a baby in a crib, but I suppose the stupidity of Ryuji designing his game with a monster that LOOKS as helpless as it is would be a little too on the nose. He's supposed to be a game-design genius, so what the fuck is his excuse?

"Puzz?" As in "PuzzLE?" You know, forget what I said about the "being too on the nose" earlier, because KT is clearly not above that.

Also, what happened to Yuugi's dismay upon seeing those zero attack points? Apparently it has been replaced by a half-determined look at noting that his dungeon master only has one point left now, and wondering how Puzz is going to handle the enemy's attack. Cute little Puzz looks up innocently, like it don't have a clue. It's adorable because it will be slaughtered! Presumably.

Ryuji laughs and mocks the idea that just because Yuugi managed to summon a monster means that he'll win. He asks how Yuugi can let a creature without any attack points or weapon strike him, and I have to second that question. That just seems cruel and unusual to your poor cute monster, Yuugi. Yuugi seems to realize in THIS moment that the attack of Puzz is zero and THERE'S that horrified dismayed face I was wondering about. Seems the end of the last chapter kind of jumped the gun on it.

The comparison Ryuji makes to his massive God Ogre sure isn't flattering, and even Yuugi's dungeon master is quaking in its little sweaty leg-stems at the looming figure of the God Ogre behind it. Yuugi is beginning to realize that because Puzz's attack is nonexistent, of course it cannot stand up to the opponent, and this means he loses. He squeezes his eyes shut and internally questions what the ever confident Yami would do in his place. He finds himself wanting desperately to hear Yami's voice guiding him, but instead all he hears is asshole!Bakura snapping at him to stop thinking about useless crap. Yuugi's eyes snap open again but he's speechless while asshole!Bakura tells him that this is his test; the final test Yuugi has to pass in order to prove he's qualified to hold the Millennium Item and be king. Somehow I doubt even other Millennium Item hosts have to go through this bullshit, especially not that piece of garbage Shadi, so I call malarkey. Malarkey I say!

Yuugi is confused and surprised by asshole!Bakura's use of the word "king," though I'm pretty sure Ryuji has also used the term at least once in connection with the holder of the Millennium Puzzle before. He asks what king asshole!Bakura is referring to, but asshole!Bakura demands he listen to his extremely simple explanation that there is only one person who can solve the Millennium Puzzle, that person is destined to recover the pharaoh's memories, and that person is Yuugi. Yuugi gapes while asshole!Bakura says that he's there to make sure all that comes to pass.

While Yuugi continues to look mystified at asshole!Bakura, clown!dad chips in to laugh away asshole!Bakura's concerns, insisting that the person to win this game is the next successor to the Millennium Puzzle and that's clearly Ryuji. Apparently he's not grasping the notion that there's still only one person in the world who can SOLVE the thing, and that must be why asshole!Bakura is so pissed off, wrinkling his nose and cursing at clown!dad. At least, that's the only explanation I can think of for this anomalous outburst.

An impatient Ryuji points at Yuugi, asking if he's done with his turn, because the inventor of the game would like to move during his next one already, thank you very much. Yuugi looks utterly frozen with a whole host of emotions and remains speechless.

Boy has no interest in all these other douchebags; HE IS ON A MISSION.

Yuugi observes all three of the pieces clustered on his side of the table, noting that Puzz is an armor warrior and though its attack is zero, it has to have a special ability. He determines that he has to take a huge risk to find out what that ability is and he'll make his final move his next turn. Ryuji has apparently not taken Yuugi's silence as a concession that his turn is over, because he's just staring at Yuugi over the table, politely waiting for him to finish thinking. He intends not to let Yuugi activate Puzz's special ability, because he reads minds for fun. Ryuji declares it's his turn, and this makes Yuugi's dungeon master all the more nervous with the God Ogre hovering over it from behind.

Ryuji chuckles that Yuugi doesn't look much different than his cowardly little dungeon master running from the God Ogre, and Yuugi just sweats on his side of the table. Holding up a fist balled around his precious dice, Ryuji insists that this is the final turn, and tells Yuugi to get ready for it. He throws the dice, two of which land on a forward and attack crest, which he uses to call out his attack on Yuugi's dungeon master right in front of God Ogre. God Ogre steps up another space and obeys, swinging down its Ultimate Sword straight for the enemy dungeon master's pointy little hat. Ryuji brags about how he won because Yuugi's dungeon master can't run any more, while Yuugi doesn't appear to be sweating nearly as much now.

Hmm, I didn't actually see the hit land and the bad guy is gloating already?

Goodness gracious me! Who could have seen THAT coming?

Well, at the very least, I didn't anticipate that little dude turning into a shield, so I guess I can't get TOO up-in-arms about the predictability of this. And Puzz is a STRONG shield at that, making the God Ogre's Ultimate Sword bounce right the fuck away. Impressive, as well as horrifying to Ryuji. While Ryuji is stunned into uncharacteristic silence, Yuugi takes the opportunity to remind Ryuji of what he said about Yuugi's dungeon master simply running away. Yuugi asserts that his dungeon master will no longer run, but turn to fight. He's going to need an actual weapon to do that, don't you think Yuugi? Unless you're planning to just bludgeon the God Ogre with Puzz.

Come to think of it, that might not be such a bad idea.

Ryuji regains his smirk in record time, in turn reminding Yuugi that Puzz doesn't have any attack power, so the big question is how Puzz is going to defeat God Ogre. Yuugi concedes that Puzz doesn't have any attack power, but that's only because it was transformed into the armor of his dungeon master. Noooooooo... it didn't have any attack power BEFORE it was transformed either, remember? A panel showing the dungeon master holding Puzz-the-Shield out in front of it also contains a nice panel informing the reader that Puzz can turn into armor if it's fed defense crests. You know, in case they weren't paying attention to the last couple of pages or something. Gotta HAMMER that information in our stupid little brains!!

Gritting his teeth, Ryuji fumes about how it looks like Yuugi already knew about Puzz's special ability. Did he forget that he made sure the game's details were not divulged to the public before this very day or is he suggesting that there may have been information leaked? Either way, Ryuji just brushes Yuugi's suspicious knowledge of the game off like it doesn't raise a ton of questions and informs Yuugi further that turning Puzz into armor requires so many crests that he only has one left in his pool. Displaying his dice on his open palm, Yuugi knows he'll have to bet his next move on the crests that come up on them this turn, announcing said turn with determination.

Before rolling, Yuugi thinks if he can get two of the crests he needs, he's home free. He tosses the dice, and while they spin, he urges them to show him what he's looking for. Both he and Ryuji stare at them anxiously.

Are you starting to get an idea of what asshole!Bakura was talking about before, Ryuji? He don't play. Except when he does. Which is all the time. You know what, never mind, I don't know what I'm talking about.

Yuugi shouts at Puzz's special ability to activate again, this time with the attack crests he just rolled and the single defense crest left in his pool, so Puzz begins a transformation once more.

Uh, need I point out again that Puzz didn't have attack power before? I mean he had low DEFENSE before, but it makes sense that the defense crests he used to activate Puzz's transformation would multiply that already low defense like the crests multiplied Duker's attacks in one turn right? But anything times ZERO is still ZERO - that's basic math. Are we multiplying off of the DUNGEON MASTER'S attack strength? I don't think the dungeon master had attack strength either.

What the balls kind of sense does any of this make??

I am so confused.

So very, very confused.

Ryuji is stunned once more, on a more permanent basis now, taking mental stock of how he no longer has any monsters and his last one fell to Yuugi's dungeon master boasting 2500 attack strength. Sweating, he stares in utter disbelief at the outcome. Clown!dad gropes the air furiously, bellowing about Ryuji's incomprehensible defeat. Asshole!Bakura chuckles about how Yuugi is the REAL chosen wielder of the Millennium Puzzle, just like he said. Ryuji continues to wonder how it could be that Yuugi is the true successor, because I guess I spoke too soon on the subject of Ryuji beginning to question everything his father told him. It's a problematic pattern of mine.

Yuugi addresses Ryuji, saying he never thought about being a successor to the puzzle like Ryuji is thinking. It's not really the way Ryuji assumes it is, which brings out some confused anger in Ryuji when he asks Yuugi what it is he fought for then. Yuugi begins his argument in terms of "wanting," but chooses to cross that out and revise.

You also REALLY seem to need a tissue. Your nose is running something FIERCE bro.

So, what did I think of this chapter overall? This chapter was the embodiment of how this game has been weak from the start. All of the errors and shit decisions from the previous chapters were amped up to 11 in this one, starting with Other Bakura's presence. It was less amusing and more grating here, because though he insists that Yuugi will win by virtue of the fact that he's the chosen one, Other Bakura says he's there to make sure it happens. If it's going to happen anyway, why do you need to make sure of it, dude? That makes no sense, you're superfluous, don't talk anymore.

Then Ryuji thinks that he's not going to LET Yuugi use Puzz's special ability, because he's apparently forgotten the rules to his own damn game that the other player can use crest pool crests during their opponent's turn. And granted, he could have been counting on Yuugi being too ignorant of the ability and scared to make a mistake, but if that's the case, he should have referred to Yuugi's FEAR being the preventing factor here, not himself.

After Yuugi takes the risk, Ryuji looks just absolutely shocked and seems to assume that Yuugi knew the special ability all along, but never questions HOW. He just carries on the conversation like they're NOT playing a game that has been shrouded in enough mystery until this day that Yuugi should never have been savvy to that information. And it was so blatant of a shift in Ryuji's demeanor and train of thought that I do have to wonder if it wasn't some attempt at hanging a lampshade, but if that's the case, it failed. Drawing attention to your laziness isn't a lampshade, KT, it's just admitting that you're lazy, flat out.

And the biggest disappointment of this chapter was when Puzz transformed into a sword that inexplicably gave attack points to the dungeon master and itself. Since the crests don't seem to work with points themselves, only as directors of action, the only way they could manage this is if they DO have point values and no one knew about it until the very last second. And even then, somehow the crests would have to go from MULTIPLIERS to ADDITIVES in order to overcome the fact that they're modifying something with zero attack strength.

But at least this horrid, no-good, very-bad game is finally over. Finally. I will not miss it.