Inuyasha Manga: 136 Three-Way Battle

Oh yes, this will go exceedingly well. Two guys bringing their personal pissing match into an actual war with actual stakes couldn't possibly go wrong, could it? I'm sure that these young bucks won't have any trouble putting aside their differences to unite against a real threat so their rivalry doesn't have to detract from their common goal, right?

Is my sarcasm coming across too strong? My bad, let me switch to a different topic that I'm not so sour about to tone this shit down for the coming chapter.

... I baked some bread. Wanna see?

There, now that I was able to step back, my cynicism should have lessened a bit.

Nope. Nope. This is going to be just as stupid as I think it is.

As if Kouga thinks he wasn't being antagonizing ENOUGH to a guy who already wants him dead, he adds on a little "unless" statement to the effect that suggests Inuyasha doesn't have the guts to fight him if he fucks off with Kagome. Of course Inuyasha has to retort, saying that the one who should be running away is Kouga. And because he doesn't want to be beholden to Kouga's schedule, he leaps up the mountain against Kagome's warning shout, telling Kouga to wait right where he is to get wasted. In the death sense. Not the... drunk sense.

Kagome looks terrified by another wave of oncoming gokurakuchou, but Inuyasha has no trouble dispatching them with just his claws, yelling at them to get out of his way. This doesn't seem to ease Kagome's level of concern, and it can't help that Mohawk and Two-Toned are trying to drag her off to someplace safer, since their current location seems to be increasing their chances of getting carried off by demon bird things. Imagine that.

Something else slices through a couple of birds in the air as well, and Kagome gapes even as she shrinks back in horror. She needn't be so scared, though.

Surely you SAW that the weapon taking out the birds was Sango's Hiraikotsu? What was with the terror a panel before?

Miroku trails off a question about what's happening here when he observes both wolf and bird casualties on the ground as he and Sango run toward Kagome. Sango finishes her question, much more direct, but Kagome is in "I'll explain later" mode when she tells them that they have to focus on getting rid of that flock of gokurakuchou still hovering threateningly behind her. Miroku begins to uncoil his sealing beads from his right hand, assuring Kagome she's been understood and that he's ready to clean up.

The few wolf youkai left alive begin to gather, asking who these people are and telling them that this is no place for humans. Miroku responds by ripping off the final loop of beads and yelling at them to get back if they value their lives.

Be impressed by this while you still can, because the usefulness of this curse's days are numbered.

Up near the peak of the outcrop, the bosses of the gokurakuchou conference on getting the fuck out of here. One of the twins wants to do something first, though, and lunge straight for Kouga to swallow the wolf youkai brat and his Shikon shards in one gulp. That mouth taking up most of its body is opened really wide and ropes of drool are being blown into the back of it by their momentum and all I can think is that there is not enough room for a stomach back there.

I mean is the stomach actually located up in the human torso portion of their bodies? In that case, if the big mouth gets something big in it, how can it be swallowed upward without gravity helping? Is there a place in the top where especially big prey gets stored in order to break down before being sent to the stomach? These guys must not have to eat very often if that's how it is...

Shit, I need to come back up from this rabbit hole before I get seriously lost.

Kouga jumps up out of the mouth's path and grins, claiming he was waiting for them to get close to him like that. It doesn't take much for the head gokurakuchou to tilt up and lunge again, though, threatening to eat Kouga up once more.

Awww, that wasn't such a bad plan, either. The head gokurakuchou chuckles at him for wasting his time while he clings to the side of the mountain, looking decidedly less cocky now. But one panel later, it's their turn to look shocked.

I don't know, when he started ripping a giant bird's wing from its body like a BADASS. Or a psychopath. Or both, not sure.

Regardless of his initial confusion, Kouga grins and says he's not about to look a gift horse in the mouth, in not so many words. He uses the distraction Inuyasha created to move in and knock the head clean off one of the twins. The other twin immediately reacts not with shock or horror, but rage, roaring about Kouga's NERVE at killing his brother. In his anger, he steers the rest of the bird body toward the mountain peak and zooms right at it, to a dangling Inuyasha's surprise.The remaining twin smashes into the peak, the rock breaking and flying everywhere. Inuyasha winces against the flying debris, grunting.

Kagome shouts Inuyasha's name and the wolf youkai shout Kouga's, as Sango explains to... someone that the gokurakuchou is trying to smash his attackers on the rocks. Thanks. I surely couldn't have figured that out for myself. The gokurakuchou flies through the hole it made in the mountain, heading right the fuck out of here. Kouga pops out of the smashed rock on the mountain, cursing about how the gokurakuchou is fleeing.

There's a point at which trying to intimidate someone becomes a little desperate, Inuyasha. You passed that point MILES ago.

Yet he insists on turning the desperation up even more. He tells Kouga that in no uncertain terms does he give a shit about that weird bird thing, and all he cares about is murdering Kouga right here and now. Kouga, looking more uninterested in Inuyasha's posturing than ever, scoffs and says that he owes Inuyasha for helping with the monster bird regardless. He also mentions something about searching for Kagome later, and I THINK it means he's going to let Kagome go with Inuyasha for the time being, but I'm not sure because the translation is grammatically strange.

Whatever he's saying, Inuyasha is pissed that he's still going on about it, and Kouga shouts back at him that OF COURSE he is, because Kagome's HIS woman and he's not going to let anyone else have her. Inuyasha is thoroughly shocked, but he's not the only one.

If I had a dime for every time men just decided what was going on between us without consulting me...

Same situation for men who going behind my back to ask my male buddies what my sex life was looking like, which is why it comes as no surprise when Miroku asks a tied up and disoriented Shippou what the REAL story is, because he and Sango apparently don't trust what Kagome has to say about the matter. Shippou is understandably upset that the first thing they ask him after finding him bound is about Kagome and Kouga, and Miroku barely walks back his insensitivity by asking Shippou if he's not alright then. You seem SO concerned. Dick.

Inuyasha fumes as he stands hunched behind Kouga, muttering that this guy is saying some AWFULLY irresponsible things. Kouga doesn't seem all that concerned, and snaps back a question of if he has a problem. He then confesses boldly that he's in love with Kagome. Looks like SOMEONE has conflated love with giddiness at using the talents of others for their own gain. Inuyasha is taken aback by how shameless this bastard is, shaking in both rage and discomfort while Kouga lists off all of Kagome's good qualities: can see jewel shards, has guts, and is fairly good looking too. Kagome is ENCHANTED by this list, practically sparkling with sudden admiration for her captor (and the slaughterer of at least two villages). Miroku flaps his hand at her dispassionately, looking pretty exasperated by her 360 degree turn on the matter.

Sooooooo... should we not be concerned with the escaped bird coming back any second now, or what?

So, what did I think of this chapter overall? I think I sprained my eyeballs rolling them constantly while reading this, and yet, I'm not sure the ridiculousness here was avoidable given all the events leading up to it. Inuyasha and Kouga were already at odds since the beginning, so Kouga's decision to steal Kagome (both physically and affectionately) out from under Inuyasha's group was bound to give their rivalry an even more heated element. There's also not much about Kouga's demeanor here that is genuine in his confession. He's not showing any tell-tale signs of being infatuated, like being nervous or dreamy or concerned with Kagome's feelings towards him. If he just seemed like he was making the economical and practical decision in declaring Kagome his own personal shard-detector/woman before, here it seems like he's embellishing on that decision for the purpose of riling Inuyasha up. That adds a layer of comedic undertone that you don't often get from these "two or more people fighting over a common love-interest" subplot, so I can appreciate it on that level. The fact that Kagome buys into it is all the more amusing.

But I keep bumping up against this wall decorated with a flashing neon sign that reads, "OPPOSITE KIKYOU ALERT!!!" Something about this just smacks of some need RT felt to include someone for Inuyasha to be jealous of on a similar level to Kagome's jealousy of Kikyou, because hey, she's an attractive girl with options, right? And there's no way that Inuyasha would ever consider Hojo a threat if he ever even knew the guy existed. Gotta have someone out there who can give Inuyasha a real run for his money!

The problem with this is that Kouga ISN'T on par with Kikyou when it comes to an attachment. Kagome doesn't have history with him, she hasn't sacrificed anything for him, and he hasn't done anything of the sort for her either. It's all a big show for the sake of giving Inuyasha a taste of that burning inadequacy that Kagome feels when they encounter Kikyou.

Which I suppose may be the whole point. If there's anything that can bring into stark relief the fact that Kagome's jealousy is pointless, it would be this. I just know that's not what the fans read into this reaction. Believe me, I've looked. And I am scarred.