Yu-Gi-Oh Manga: 148 The God of the Obelisk

Oh great, yet another peacock strutting around as if the whole world is a shrine to its dick. I get far too much of that from the men I meet on the regular thank you, and in a professional setting to boot! If this stream of fellas who have egos as big as deities isn't going to stem anytime soon, can they at least tell me where they get those attitudes that suggest they've been WORSHIPPED all their lives? Seriously, I could use some of that cockiness to get me through most days. Sharing is caring, guys.

Did I say "guys"? I'd like to narrow that down to specifically Mr. Kaiba, since it appears this official-looking translation has dropped us right into the territory of one of the more notorious of the pricks I just described above. He has enough ego to envelope the world TWICE, so I know there's enough to spread. Selfish bastard.

But at least he's a selfish bastard who has finally come into his own fashion. He's wearing his iconic white sleeveless flared coat with the black turtleneck underneath for the first time here, and I want to call it Chic Dork Couture and one of the only successful attempts of sexualizing a male character I've ever seen, all at the same time. It's confusing, but that's just another day ending in "y" for Writch here.

Kaiba is standing in the middle of a large room, observation window to his right, and a hanging robot a ways in front of him. Someone announces that the main computer system is ready, and Mokuba shouts from his place behind the observation window that everything is ready to go for his big brother, set to start whenever Kaiba wants. Many men in lab coats are looking rather busy in the behind Mokuba, probably trying not to get specially noticed by elder Kaiba. I can just imagine what happened to the last guy who caught his attention.

Too true, Eliot. And besides, Kaiba is too stoked to ruin anyone's life today - he's finally testing the next generation Duel Disk!

I guess someone was complaining that Kaiba's Duel Disk required physical effort to make it work. Some layabout who didn't expect a card game to require one to get winded! The fool!

In his head, Kaiba thinks of Yuugi (or Yami, as it were) as the person he recognizes as a rival, because people are apparently just LINING UP to have a rivalry with this guy *eyeroll*. In fact, Kaiba is convinced that only (Yami) Yuugi and he have TRUE pride. I'm tempted to ask for a definition of the word "pride" here, but I know there isn't one. Kaiba is excited to start a brand new battle with (Yami) Yuugi once this new Duel Disk on his arm is complete and I'm sure his heart is beating faster just thinking about it. Snrk.

Even if Kaiba were to believe that it is Yuugi on that ancient tablet Isis showed him, he would dismiss any significance of it anyway because that's just a relic to him. He considers the era right now as his, and he's only interested in the enemy in front of him. This leads him to wonder if (Yami) Yuugi is really just the embodiment of an ancient grudge seeking honor from the past, and if that's the case...

Where is all that wind coming from??

A man with long white hair and immaculately sculpted facial hair announces that the deck is set in the duel machine, and orders that the tactics level be set to maximum. The robot in the room with Kaiba clicks and whirs as it inserts the deck into the slot on its own built-in Duel Disk, proclaiming that the deck is detected. Mokuba is stoked to finally see his brother duel against the machine, but Mr. AwesomeBeard says that he's not sure Kaiba can beat the DuelBot. Mokuba completely overreacts, telling Mr. AwesomeBeard to shut up, because there's no way his brother will lose to some computer. Unfazed, Mr. AwesomeBeard explains that the DuelBot is using Kaiba's own deck from Duelist Kingdom. Mokuba is alarmed, asking in near panic if that means it has all three Blue Eyes White Dragons in it, and Mr. AwesomeBeard confirms this, saying this is what Kaiba ordered. Looking nervous, Mokuba eyes the window where his brother will be fighting his own ultimate deck.

Kaiba takes out a new deck to use and puts it in his new Duel Disk, thoughts affirming for the audience that this one contains the god card given to him by Isis, who is called Ishizu in this translation. Kind of wished I had started with that version of the name, because it's super awkward using a name for her that has *ahem* negative connotations these days. Fuck it, I'll just use Ishizu from now on.

Staring down his robot opponent, Kaiba internally monologues some more about how this is more than a test of the Duel Disk, but also a test of Obelisk, wondering how it will fare against his carefully constructed deck with the Blue Eyes White Dragons he so unscrupulously collected. That unscrupulous part was inserted by me, by the way, in case I fooled you into thinking that Kaiba had developed a sense of self-awareness at some point. Sorry. He didn't.

Kaiba shouts at the observation window that he's ready to go, and Mr. AwesomeBeard starts pushing all kinds of buttons to turn the auto-dueling system on as well as the DuelBot itself, though it was plenty on before when it put its own deck into the Duel Disk. Let's ignore it and how dirty it all sounds for the moment, shall we? Mokuba gapes at his brother through the glass, appearing pretty worried.

Yup, aaaaaaaany day now!

For real, though, the DuelBot opens with a killer summon, a Blue Eyes White Dragon right off the bat. Shit, KAIBA never managed to do that. Mokuba is freaking out, yelling at his brother to watch out as Mr. AwesomeBeard is fretting in the background. Kaiba insists he's fine, drawing a card, putting one face down, and playing "Invitation to a Dark Sleep", which produces a cloaked figure sitting in midair with limbs crossed. The DuelBot says it detects a threat and it's now its own turn, but remains speechless about an attack so the Blue Eyes White Dragon stays docile.

Kaiba notes this, soon realizing that the DuelBot is cautious of his face-down card, impressed with how good its tactics are despite it being just an artificial intelligence. Is being wary of an unknown variable a way of beating the Turing Test? Seems like it should be. Someone shouts about how the DuelBot played Lord of Dragons, abbreviated on the card to just be Lord of D. I wonder if the person making that decision looks back on it now with regret or mirth... Anyhow, whoever is shouting says that the computer made a super brilliant move, because as long as Lord of Dragons is in play, all dragons on its side are immune to magic attacks. The audience thanks you for your direct explanation of the card's function to it.

Growling, Kaiba silently gripes about how the Blue Eyes White Dragon would have gone to sleep if the DuelBot had attacked, but the DuelBot saw through that move. Kaiba shouts it's his turn and plays Steel Ogre Grotto #2, a machine-like monster that I guess Kaiba hopes his DuelBot will fall in love with? As Kaiba faces the humongous holograms summoned by the DuelBot, Mokuba is devastated that the computer has put Kaiba on the defensive, claiming to know his new deck wasn't strong enough.

Kaiba IS actually sweating while the DuelBot starts its turn, drawing a card.

Why is this kid constantly surprised by things he really shouldn't be?

So the Lord of D plays its flute and a magical substance floats from it, which isn't at ALL a scenario that could easily be turned into a fellatio reference. Nope. The mystical jizz from the flute envelopes the hologram cards in front of the DuelBot as it proclaims that it will summon all the dragons from its hand. Mokuba, Mr. AwesomeBeard and especially Kaiba are all tense as hell, because they know what's coming.

And that's why condoms are important, kids.

Kaiba grits his teeth, internally pulling a Shatner as he haltingly thinks about how the three dragons at once are the deadliest combination there is. In another unfortunate translation fuck-up, Mokuba calls out to Kaiba using "Kaiba" instead of Seto or big brother or something that makes sense. Mr. AwesomeBeard questions whether ANYONE can beat the strategy that Kaiba is now faced with, especially considering the fact that it's his own. Another lab coat wearer in the room says that NO ONE can beat it.

After a panel depicting him with grinding teeth and a heartbeat in his ears, Kaiba suddenly envisions (Yami) Yuugi, soon with the same three dragons facing him as are now facing Kaiba. Kaiba thinks that (Yami) Yuugi stood up to those dragons without fear, believing in his cards and taking on the challenge with courage. (Yami) Yuugi won that match, so Kaiba must be referring to the one he orchestrated at Death T rather than Duelist Kingdom. He also refers to fear as being the greatest monster duelists must face, and though he doesn't admit it, he must be feeling a ton of that right now, especially since the DuelBot is not initiating an attack by all three Blue Eyes White Dragons at once.

As the attack dissipates in the centers of cyclones absorbing it, Mokuba cheers for his brother and Kaiba announces with a smirk that it's his turn now. He's ready to bet everything on the card sitting at the top of his deck, drawing only to become somewhat surprised by his new card.

Well, what do you know? Kaiba pulled a Yami!!

Meanwhile, Mokuba wide-eyed with wonder beholding the legendary card that Kaiba was talking to him about. Kaiba reapplies his smirk, admiring the Obelisk deity as the ultimate power. Then he sacrifices his two other monsters in order for Obelisk to absorb their power and souls too. Obelisk grabs hold of the Steel Ogre and Invitation to Dark Sleep, which I will henceforth refer to a Sleepy Creepy. Mr. AwesomeBeard is alarmed that Obelisk is killing its own allies, asking if this is the cost of its massive power, and the other lab coated guy confirms that its power is indeed rapidly rising.

Kaiba points at his Blue Eyes White Dragons, commanding Obelisk to attack them.

Jeez, didn't Kaiba claim to be in love with that card? Domestic violence...

While the Blue Eyes White Dragons all dissolve into nothing, the DuelBot shouts about errors and being unable to compute. Even the control panel inside the observation room is sparking up a storm, causing Mr. AwesomeBeard to jump back with a comment about how the system is going haywire, unable to take it. Mokuba just gushes about how great the Obelisk card and Kaiba are for destroying monsters and taking away life points.

Kaiba glares at his malfunctioning robot now that the game is over, only thinking about how there are two more legendary cards to collect out there. He's determined to find those cards and grab them for his own, becoming the king of duelists in the process. Notice how I didn't capitalize that title? Yeah, it doesn't deserve to be capitalized. Eat it, Kaiba.

So, what did I think of this chapter overall? Other than the panel where Kaiba takes another stint into overreaction-town, this was one of his stronger chapters. I certainly got a better, more comprehensive view of who he's supposed to be and how he operates here than I did in the previous two. Where those were confused and meandering, this one is focused; Kaiba uses his vast technological resources to test his new acquisition, and is very deliberate in doing so. In every way, he's demonstrating how important the future is to him, looking forward instead of back. He not only places Yami on the opposite end of the spectrum in terms of what Ishizu told him, which it's clear he's not even certain he believes, but also in terms of a representation of those losses in his own past that he's trying to let go. If, for the sake of argument, Yami really IS pictured on the tablet, it only proves that Yami is a relic himself, stuck in a past that is long gone, and all it will take to overcome him is a mad dash forward without looking back.

Which makes it a tad ironic when Kaiba looks to a past duel between himself and Yami for inspiration on how to move forward in a duel that seems hopeless for a win. Not only does he still have an attachment to all those past losses to Yami, otherwise singling out Yami as his only real opponent wouldn't even enter his mind, but he uses that existing attachment to his own advantage. Kaiba LEARNS from the experience, having picked up that Yami had to overcome his own fear in order to win. So is Kaiba rushing into the future to overtake Yami in the race, or just to catch up? It's a very "tortoise and the hare" question.

As for his new outfit and how I mentioned it's a more successful sexualization of a male character that I've seen, that deserves a bit more elaboration. Kaiba's coverage may be from head to foot, but it's form-fitting, with the loose part flaring at the hips, drawing the eye to long legs and where they meet. There's also the winged shoulders on the coat that broaden Kaiba's shoulders quite a bit to accentuate a more masculine style. I don't know if it's intentional, but it's pretty effective. Effective enough to explain to KT why his least favorite character ended up being one of the more popular ones...

Just saying.