Yu-Gi-Oh Manga: 002 Lying Eyes

Over the first fifty pages, the Yu-Gi-Oh manga was very good to me. I had a few snarky things to say about it, but overall, I really enjoyed that first chapter. I was looking forward to getting to the second one, because I don't really remember too much about it. I think it had something to do with TV? Anyway, let's just jump past the recap of the general backstory on the first half of the page and straight to the new content.

Porn. We begin with a joke about how these high school boys are talking about... porn.

I have a feeling this is going to be a "wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack," kind of review. And not just because I'm having trouble actually remembering the plot for this chapter. It's difficult to describe why I'm annoyed by this. I mean, I get it, they're teenage boys and they're horndogs, which is a good way to remind us that, while Yuugi now has dark powers of wisdom and judgment, he's STILL a normal kid.

I guess it's one of those jokes that you've heard so often that it's just stopped being funny? It's overused, and we got another similar joke in the last chapter, and is this REALLY how you want to exemplify your featured friendship RIGHT OFF THE BAT, Takahashi? Couldn't you have used some other topic of conversation to show how much they really have in common, how they're connecting on a more personal level?

Whatever.

Yuugi and Jonouchi spot a TV station van parked next to the school and start speculating about why it could be there. I would have assumed the worst, but, then again, I live in Mass-Shooting Central, otherwise known as the United States of America. Yuugi suggests that an idol might be visiting their school, so he squishes his face against the tinted windows to see if he can spot whomever is in there, like a creeper.

The man inside thinks his kissy face on the window is the perfect one to star in his new film about kissy faces or something.

Oh, no, wait, it's a news segment on bullying. Surprise. Why cover other issues around attending high school when you could just beat the horse you already shot in the last chapter? Although I don't know what kind of news show is called "Survival Morning." Are the people watching trying to survive the morning? Are the people who are on the show trying to survive their morning? I have no idea.

I also don't know why this man is drooling over the news caster. I don't understand why I need to know that he thinks his coworker is sexy. I mean, is this just to hammer the fact that he's a sleezeball into our heads? Otherwise, that panel is taking up unnecessary space. It doesn't need to exist.

Anyhow, this director calls over his assistant and shows him a picture of Yuugi with his face pressed against the van window. The assistant laughs about how Yuugi sure looks like he's bullied, presumably because both he and the director would probably have chosen to bully a kid like that when they were in high school.

Heck, they don't even need to be in high school to do it. The director tells the assistant to go ahead and rough Yuugi up in front of the camera so they can give their viewers a documentary on violence like they asked for. The assistant questions the ethics of beating this kid up for ratings, and the director patronizes him by stating that he hasn't been in the business long enough to understand how it works and suggesting he be his apprentice.

Jonouchi seems to have taken this idea of an idol visiting the school to heart, even though Anzu points out that someone would have seen, or at least mentioned, the idol in question. I'm guessing Jonouchi has blue balls from his unsatisfying porn experience, and starts talking about "unmasking" the idol so he can get a picture of her.

That is some disgusting shit, Jonouchi. The director isn't the only unethical sleezeball in this chapter. He's supposed to be a protagonist too! I was defending him as a character in the last review, and he's already giving my patience a wedgie. Fuck you too, Jonouchi!

Moving right along, one of the REAL inhabitants of the van has stolen a uniform and is asking a student about where he can find Yuugi. The assistant is not happy about having to be the bad guy here, but the director threatened to fire him if he didn't become a bully for the camera. It's either his career, or a few bruises on Yuugi.

Yuugi is walking past with Jonouchi, and suggesting that maybe the TV van wasn't there for an idol after all. Jonouchi gets all butthurt, saying that he believes in his misinterpretation, and he'll search alone if no one else does. Bye Felicia.

This wasn't all that bad a way of getting Jonouchi out of the way so that the director and assistant can fulfill their villain plot obligations and get fucked by the judgment of the Millennium Puzzle.

Yuugi... aside from the obvious deception of someone you don't know and have never seen coming up to you and saying that they think you'd get along with an idol they're up close and personal with... you're not going to try to get your friend who just ran off in search of this same mythical idol? He's the one who really wants to meet her, and if you really believe she's real now, you should catch up with him to bring him along, right? Because you're friends?

Well, considering how limited your experience with friendship is, I guess I can forgive this flagrant disregard for the bro-code this time. But don't do it again.

Wait, maybe he DID go to find Jonouchi, because the director and assistant are waiting out behind the gym for him to get there. The assistant is checking his watch and grumbling about how he may lose his job if this kid doesn't keep his appointment to have the shit kicked out of him, when...

You took so long because you were buying FLOWERS???

The director commands his lackey to get the camera rolling, despite the fact that his violent documentary is going to look 10,000 times gayer now.

I mean, just look at this.

"I wanted ROSES dammit!!!"

Yuugi's abusive boyfriend breaks the news that there isn't actually an idol while taking direction from his boss to be more flashy for the camera. Jonouchi makes his entrance after a few punches and demands to know what the assistant is doing to his friend. Those didn't look like love taps at all!

The assistant says that the director made him do it, and the director calls cut when Jonouchi starts being all tender toward Yuugi, claiming the "teenage drama" they're displaying is a waste of film. He explains that it was just a bad roll of the dice that Yuugi got chosen to be whaled on by his assistant. I don't remember seeing you rolling a D-10 to determine if you were going to make some child's life miserable, dude. Don't try to blame your horrible decisions on chance when it was clear that you are a grown ass man who has control over the events played out here. You are not a force of nature!

Jonouchi grabs the director's collar, preparing to uppercut him like a boss, but the director just laughs. He says anything Jonouchi does will be captured on camera, still chuckling in his head about how the camera isn't even on. WE KNOW. Even if Jonouchi wasn't paying attention, the audience is well aware that you said "cut" to your cameraman earlier. What is it with this guy being the star of useless panels? I'm starting to think this is a joke where the punchline is how the guy in question is constantly capturing useless or redundant information.

While Jonouchi is distracted by the prospect of being caught on tape in the middle of assaulting this man, the director knees him in the stomach. Yuugi runs to Jonouchi's side as he falls on the ground, and the director yells like a madman about how the power of the camera holds their faces up to the public's scorn, or something equally painfully irrelevant.

That shit is still cray.

Cut to the TV station at night, specifically the parking garage, where the director is getting into his car. Has the Dark Yuugi been out for several hours now? Did he just finish out the school day in Yuugi's place? Or did he wander over to the TV station and wait out in the parking garage until the director came out again? And what about Jonouchi? Was he just left on the ground? Inquiring minds want to know.

Anyhow, the director is being praised for the good footage he brought in today, and he compares the viewers to fish consuming the bait he dangles for them. Insert eye-roll here. He even suggests that putting a snuff film on TV would be a good idea. His face is becoming so much more punchable.

He sees Yuugi in one of his side mirrors, who says that he's been waiting for him. The director points out that the hour is late, and if Yuugi is asking for a fee for his role in the bullying film, he can forget it.

Now, the translation had a note here that this line about Yuugi's realm of influence is more literally translated to, "the domain of my heart/mind." I'm still not certain what it means, but if I had to guess, it's a double entendre regarding how the director carelessly stomped all over Yuugi's feelings earlier, and also ended up calling the Dark (or Yami) Yuugi out to avenge him.

But do take that interpretation with a grain of salt.

Yuugi holds out a die, presenting it as their prop for tonight's game. Then he launches into a completely useless explanation about the history of dice which doesn't belong here and I don't understand why it exists. I'm getting more annoyed than ever with how much space is wasted in this chapter on panels that don't add anything of actual substance to the story.

Seems straightforward. Is that a Millennium symbol on the die Yuugi's holding there? Did he carve those eyelids around the dot? Too much time on his hands, for real.

Also, I now understand why the director used that line about Yuugi's role being determined by a roll of the dice earlier, and I'm even less impressed. Having the director pretend that his decision to beat up Yuugi was mere chance just so his judgment could be related to dice later in the chapter is a pretty lazy move.

The director initially dismisses the game's rules, saying the odds aren't in his favor. He changes his mind when Yuugi rolls the die and it comes up a six. Well, no matter what, the director wins, so he doesn't hesitate to tell Yuugi just that. Yuugi just says that the game's not over, and the director picks up the die in resignation. Because he's a spiteful shit, though, this man decides to throw the die at Yuugi's face instead of just rolling it like a normal person. It bounces off his face and lands...

That is cheaper than cheap! I mean, true, I didn't want the asshole adult who refuses to take responsibility for his own actions to win, but this just makes our protagonist look like a cheater! I suppose I should have seen this coming, because in the last chapter Ushio lost control of his hand because Shadow Games supposedly bring out the player's true character, and perhaps this chapter is trying to capitalize on that same idea, but, it's clear Dark Yuugi controls the aspects of this game. Is it a leap to assume he might control the outcome as well??

I don't know, let's just get on with this...

So, Dark Yuugi inflicts a penalty game on the director, who will forevermore see everything as a mosaic. Yuugi explains that because he was so interested in distorting reality for the camera, he can enjoy reality being distorted for him. Again, I don't think he's listening, bro.

Cut to morning, when Jonouchi is keeping the promise he made at the beginning of the chapter, lending Yuugi his porno. It's named "Hardon Paradise" which, I have to admit, I did laugh at. Anzu is having the very last laugh, though, because she grabs the video from Yuugi and Jonouchi and walks off, talking about how she'd like to borrow it herself. She's cheeky in these beginning chapters.

So, what did I think of this chapter overall? A significant drop in quality. I think what got to me the most was the fact that there were a few panels that didn't contribute to the story, and they didn't need to exist. This antagonist was an older version of the last one, just with a different name and angle. The double speak he engaged in was significantly less subtle, and it all came down to the fact that he needed to relate the situation he forced on Yuugi to a roll of the dice or game of fate. It was contrived.

There were things to enjoy here. Anzu, though she played an insignificant role, was pretty entertaining when she acted as the voice of reason to Jonouchi's delusions, as well as when she played that joke on both her friends at the end there. I also really liked the softer sidekick villain here. He wasn't a good person, but he wasn't entirely bad either, so I liked the ambiguity there.

But most of all, this fell flat for me because it was forgettable. I'm sure I won't remember much of anything about this after I move on to the next one because it was so similar in content and overall message to the last. It didn't bring anything new or memorable to the table. It was just... filler. I know that's probably going to be the case for a LOT for these early one-shots, but that doesn't make it any better, or any more tolerable.

I 'm going to struggle with the first part of the Yu-Gi-Oh manga.