Yu-Gi-Oh Manga: 004 The Escaped Prisoner

Moving right along to Chapter 4! You know, I'm surprised that I've been keeping such a steady pace with this project for the past four days. This turned out to be a much heavier commitment than I had anticipated, considering it takes a good three hours or so to churn these reviews out. As I said in the review of Chapter 1, though I am prone to obsession, I'm not the best at focus, and can lose motivation and momentum on stuff like this rather quickly. It's almost like... I'm finally growing up...

And with that depressing note, on to my childish jokes about a successful comic book.

We begin with the prisoner of the title doing exactly what he was born to do! Escape from prison so our protagonist can hand him his ass at some silly little game. Did the horoscope you read happen to mention that your success in this endeavor would lead to much bigger failures down the road? No?

He proceeds to declare that he's escaping, and no one can catch him. Well, unless he visits a VERY trusted tattoo parlor to get those highly identifiable (not to mention ridiculous) face tattoos removed, I have a feeling he's less of a Leonardo DiCaprio than he likes to think. Also, did the prison tattoo his number on his forehead or is that just a result of his boredom in the joint? Because if it's the former, that is one fucked up prison, branding people like cows. If it's the latter... that guy managed to mark himself for life, whether or not he escaped from prison. Either way, that's fucked, yo.

The prison, amidst blaring alarms, announces that the prisoner has escaped, and they need to warn the city!! Why... would they need to announce they're warning the city? Why don't they just do that? What was the purpose...?

Anyhow, cut to the end of the school day, and Jonouchi is waking up from his afternoon nap. He suggests that he and Yuugi can stop somewhere for a bite on the way home, and Yuugi says that Hamburger World has world-famous burgers. They cheer for their bro-date.

Anzu is much less excited, even though Yuugi invites her along. She tells him that Hamburger World is really famous for making people sick as dogs. Yuugi looks a little put out until he suggests they can go to Calorie Burger instead, but Anzu shoots down that idea too, stating she already has plans. Besides, the teacher suggested they should all go straight home because of that escaped prisoner.

Jonouchi makes fun of Yuugi for being a little bitch about the prisoner, but Yuugi is concerned that the man has a pistol. A pistol! Man, I live in a country where people walk into Walmart with rifles to "exercise their right to bear arms," you kids are sheltered.

Anzu lets out a sigh of relief.

Jonouchi is convinced that Anzu has been acting weird lately, and after Yuugi follows up with the observation that she hasn't walked home with them in a while, he speculates that she's working as an escort. Does his sexual harassment know no bounds? Apparently not, because he decides to drag an unconvinced Yuugi along on his attempts to follow Anzu and catch her in a compromising position.

First he's fixated on a fictional idol, now he's assuming Anzu's a prostitute. No one should have to live in this kid's head, not even him.

They tail her to the business district and almost get caught when she glances behind her. Jonouchi pretends to be a newscaster following the story of Anzu's illicit after-school activities as Yuugi reminds him that he is not in a scripted porno. Meanwhile, I have never felt so betrayed by my initial assessment of a fictional character in my life.

Wait, Anzu is heading into a building; her meeting place with her client??? No, it's... Burger World! The very place Anzu had told them to NEVER EVER GO.

Those faces. You can almost SEE the delusion shattering.

She just shuffles back into the restaurant, like it might have been LESS embarrassing to be caught being an escort. Anzu is really nervous, though, because having a job is against school rules, and Jonouchi tends towards a bigger mouth.

I know Japan can be very strict when it comes to kids and their studies, but how would expelling a kid who had a job be a logical thing? If the kid has a job, chances are that they need it, and if they don't get to finish school... well, they're stuck in a shitty job for the rest of their lives. Domino High, do you even care?

While Jonouchi is chuckling about how he successfully invaded Anzu's privacy, Yuugi repeats how he doesn't think following her was such a good idea, given how angry she looked. Of course, he still thinks she looks super adorbs in her uniform. Anzu comes to drop their order on their table aggressively, and writes a threatening message all over it in ketchup. Jonouchi doesn't seem to understand why she's so pissed off, and asks her what's wrong.

I love that the two icons for America they can think of are the Statue of Liberty and a hamburger. What's a little sad about this, though, is that Anzu thinks her friends are going to laugh at her dream. Jeez, if that's how you feel your buddies are going to react to your goals in life, maybe you should get some new ones.

Yuugi is quick to assure her that they're not laughing, and Jonouchi is somewhat slower to state that he won't tell a soul... for the low, low price of 10,000 burgers. Aside from the fact that I doubt he could come close to eating that many burgers, his extortion joke does not leave me in stitches. My eye is twitching, though, so at least I'm reacting.

Jonouchi starts crying about how his burgers are ruined by the globs of ketchup and he's not paying for them, and Anzu says they're on the house anyway. She has more patience for his shit than I do.

Number 777 is wandering through the woods thinking about how thirsty and desperate for a cigarette he is when he spots Burger World across the street. There's a forest across the road? In the business district? We didn't see this earlier when Yuugi and Jonouchi were following Anzu. Showing it in the background somewhere might have been a nice setup for the payoff here, but now I'm just wondering if the layout of the city changes based on the needs of the plot.

The convict is overjoyed, stoked about how the drive-in over there would have all the smokes and booze he could want! I'm scratching my head because if it's a drive-in restaurant like Sonic, or something, then they certainly wouldn't have alcohol, for obvious reasons. On the other hand, if it's a restaurant like Red Robin, would it have cigarettes available? What are the laws around public smoking in Japan?

According to Wikipedia, "Unlike in Europe and North America, where mandatory smoking bans apply in restaurants, bars, and public areas, smoking in Japan is not made illegal by Article 25 of the nation's Health Promotion Act, which merely urges smoking restrictions. Limited indoor bans have been enacted in Kanagawa and Hyogo Prefectures, but not nationally. Other restrictions may be implemented by the choice of public and private property owners, managers, employers, etc."

So, I guess that's legitimate, but is it a fair assumption that they have STOCK of cigarettes in the restaurant? I know I'm getting a little caught up in the details here, but I just don't know why he's assuming these things. Other than plot convenience, of course.

And speaking of plot convenience, we see the convict walking toward the restaurant with his pistol hanging from his hand through the window of the booth Jonouchi and Yuugi are sitting at. They're too engrossed in a conversation about how Anzu would fare in New York City to see this. Anzu herself is at the door to greet the new customer, who has gotten wise to the fact that maybe he shouldn't be so conspicuous with his weapon and hides it behind his back.

Ah, never mind, he just whips it back out again after he mumbles about being lonely. Worst dick joke ever, if you ask me, but hey, most of these have been falling flat for me so far anyway.

Everyone freaks, and the convict demands they all shut up again. He assures Anzu that he's only there to eat and then he'll be on his way, but she makes him angry again by letting out a muffled scream.

Why are you telling her all of this? It's almost as if you have an audience that you need to explain your actions to or they won't get it! Either that, or his line about being lonely wasn't a joke at all and he's just in the mood to talk. That's probably the real reason why everyone has to be quiet. He wants to feel like people are listening or something.

Anzu is freaking out, consumed with the possibility of her life and dreams of dancing ending on the dirty diner floor. Yuugi is fretting about what he can do to help when Number 777 points him out and declares that he is the one who should bring him whatever he orders. The convict demands everyone else to get on the floor and not move. Jonouchi curses him for taking a woman hostage.

What difference does that make? Would you not care if the hostage was male? Would you just go ahead and charge the convict without a care for the life of the guy he was pointing the gun at? Besides, weren't you cracking a joke earlier about blackmailing the same woman? So, blackmailing her was fine, but taking her hostage is going too far? You annoy me, Jonouchi, you just annoy me!

I'm still a little hung up on the cigarette issue. I mean, I couldn't find any information about restaurants selling cigarettes, but they do have vending machines that sell them... Maybe there's a vending machine in or outside Burger World? Again, this would have been a good setup if the convict had SEEN the vending machine outside and known he could get his favorite smokes there, right?

I know, I know. Writch, get a grip.

Yuugi brings a bottle of alcohol and a pristine package of cigarettes (HOW DOES THIS WORK) of the correct brand to the table the convict has trapped Anzu in. Anzu has put two and two together and realized that Yuugi was the one the convict was referring to when he asked for the wimpy-looking kid. She stands up and shouts at Yuugi to get out of there before he gets hurt and gets bitch-slapped by her captor.

Ohhhhh, that convict done it now.

Yami is in the house! And he's so pissed that Anzu was hit that he's wearing that frown again. Come on, now, give us a smile, Love.

That's more like it. This convict isn't down with Yami's cockiness, though. Yami references Number 777's loneliness and says that he just wanted to chill and hang, and also maybe play a gutsy game. While the convict is perplexed at the sudden change in the "wimpy" kid he selected to be his server this evening, Anzu is pondering the voice she's hearing. It's similar to Yuugi's, but far too confident to be him. She decides it HAS to be a different person, and a crazy one at that, to be challenging her captor. She's so close to figuring this out that I'm literally applauding.

The convict says he needs to have a little fun, so he says bring it on to Yami's game. Yami warns him that the loser is going to die, but he just asks for the rules anyway, thinking that he should just shoot him. Why don't you? You killed that guard, so you have no problems with murder. A character just SAYING they should do something and not going through with it just convinces me the writer couldn't think of a good reason why they shouldn't take that action. Lamp-shading isn't clever if it's LAZY.

Then there's this joke about how Jonouchi can't see around this other guy's fat ass, conveniently keeping him from seeing Yuugi being cheeky to the convict. Apparently they're too quiet to hear, too. Of course they are.

Anzu is perplexed by what she's hearing, but the convict is smug in his knowledge that he'll just shoot his opponent and win the game once it begins. Yami calls for the start of the game and Number 777 prepares to shoot, but Yami holds up the lighter Yuugi brought to the table earlier. The convict looks down at his unlit cigarette.

How is this stopping him from pulling the trigger? He's free to move however he wants once the game's over, and all he has to do to end it is pull the trigger. Then he can take the lighter and light his own damn cigarette. His continued refusal to shoot the kid is more and more obviously a plot contrivance, especially when he says that Yami's last act on Earth can be lighting his smoke.

Yami lights the cigarette and then drops the lighter, still lit and upright, onto the convict's hand. Wouldn't he have to loosen his fingers to do that, thereby breaking his own rules? Maybe his palms were sweaty and it slipped out at the exact right moment? I don't know if I can handle that much serendipity.

So... let's talk about science, shall we? "Proof" refers to the standard by which we measure the amount of ethanol in a beverage. These standards vary by country, but you can be certain that by any standard, 90 proof alcohol would only be about 40% to 50% ethanol, and that would make it a bit less flammable than they're thinking here, considering it's only at room temperature and the other liquids in the beverage would snuff out the flame before it could spread too far. Mr. Convict here would be singed, but he wouldn't be much worse off than when he started.

That's why, when Yami takes off with Anzu and leaves the convict to his delusional mumblings about how he's supposed to be lucky, this:

looks a bit over the top to me.

Eh, maybe I should stop worrying about whether a cartoon is actually realistic or not. A more appropriate thing to be worried about is that the protagonist of said cartoon has just murdered a man. Nothing he's done so far has outright killed anyone. Ruined lives, yes, but never killed.

Anzu takes off her blindfold to find Yuugi by her side. But then who was the mystery man who saved her? Jonouchi is whining about how he didn't get to see the criminal spontaneously combust, Yuugi is whining about how he didn't get to finish his hamburger, and Anzu... Oh no, Anzu, sweetie, say it ain't so...

She's drooling over the mysterious guy who murderfucked her captor. Of course she is. It's not like she was scared for her life and the lives of her friends a few minutes ago. It's not like she should still be reeling from her near-death experience, with no feelings to spare for a floating voice, who might I remind you, JUST FUCKING KILLED SOMEONE! Not only should she be too exhausted emotionally to even have superfluous romantic thoughts in her head, it's supremely idiotic to have them for a murderer.

This becomes her whole damn character, doesn't it?

So, what did I think about this chapter? I think it's fitting the established pattern fairly well. This just made me wonder where all of the writing talent I saw from the last chapter went. The small details went without setups most of the time, so you have to wonder how everything lined up as perfectly as it did. The writing was sloppy, ESPECIALLY when it came to the female character. The moment she gets more time in the spotlight, she's relegated to a love-at-first-sound plot that's gag-worthy.

I guess this means I can look forward to something that doesn't suck next chapter?

Balls.