Yu-Gi-Oh Manga: 005 Strange Prophet

So where are we at again? Oh, yeah, trapped in a sine wave of quality in which every other chapter is annoying or some other form of bad. To be fair, though, the last chapter did do ONE thing I was pretty stoked about. It broke away from the tired "bullying" subject matter that was beat into the ground after chapter two. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that a fresh theme is introduced with this chapter, but it keeps our established pattern in that this one should be one of the good ones.

Here's to the anticipated high-point.

We begin this chapter with Jonouchi and Yuugi walking to school while Jonouchi is relating a story about how four guys tried to jump him the previous day, explaining why he has a bandage on his face. He says this is bad luck, but if you ask me, he's the luckiest guy alive to only have a small bandage on his face when he was attacked by four other dudes. Either that, or he's a crazy skilled martial artist.

Yuugi seems to agree with me as Jonouchi complains about how the fight only lasted for one round, despite how great it felt to be able to beat up four guys. I wonder if I'll ever understand Jonouchi. Anyway, a chunk of a power line that's being worked on above Yuugi and Jonouchi falls right in front of them, and Jonouchi proclaims that he's cursed. Again, it's GOOD LUCK that you didn't get hit with that, Jonouchi.

They reach school in one piece, and meet up with Anzu. She tells them about a boy named Kokurano who claims to be a psychic, telling fortunes for all the girls during breaks. Yuugi and Jonouchi seem super surprised that someone in high school would claim to be psychic, but considering the places I went to school... Never mind. Jonouchi goes from shocked to motivated, and pulls Anzu and Yuugi along with him to go get his fortune told.

Jonouchi, you poor fool.

He feels the fool when they find there's a line a mile long to see Kokurano, most of the queue made up of girls. Jonouchi loudly pretends that he's giving in to Anzu's wish to have her fortune told, and gets yelled at for being a hypocrite. Both Anzu and Jonouchi are yelled at in turn by a girl in a headband with a Star of David displayed in front, who states that Kokurano needs concentration and quiet in order to do predictions.

Yeah, guys. JEEZ.

Kid, I don't know if it was such a great idea to draw attention to yourself with this scheme. I mean, do you KNOW how many bullies are in (and outside) this school who would be willing to punch you in the face just based on how it looks? Just think what they will do when they see you're drawing a large amount of female attention.

Jonouchi tells Anzu to go have her fortune told first, but before she can even retort, an earthquake rattles the building. Kokurano randomly points at Jonouchi and gives him a grand speech about how he knows that Jonouchi wanted his fortune told, but he shouldn't expect the usual methods, because Kokurano has REAL visions of the future. To prove this, he pulls a slip of paper out of his ridiculous cloak and claims it's a vision he had just that morning. He hands it to Jonouchi and asks him to read it out loud for everyone to hear.

Oooooh. Impressive. You going to bend a spoon next, Uri Geller?

I guess I'm the only one making wisecracks, because everyone else is clapping and cheering like he just gave a Ted Talk on using your inner psychic to find your car keys. No, wait, Yuugi doesn't seem very impressed at all.

This is why you're my favorite, Yuugi.

Anzu teases Jonouchi by saying that she'll go ahead and give it a shot, and sits down in front of Kokurano. He begins massaging her hands like he's trying to start a fire, and for some reason Anzu is blushing and giggling here. Is this a cultural thing that I'm scratching my head at, or am I just no longer in touch with my inner teenage girl? Yuugi is clenching his fists in rage because he thinks Kokurano is rubbing Anzu's hands like he's her boyfriend. Of course, it needs to be stated that he's enraged, because otherwise his completely non-threatening appearance would have made it look like he just had to poop.

Also, is rubbing hands something that boyfriends do? I don't think that has been a thing with any boyfriend I've ever had, including the one that became my husband.

Regardless, Kokurano is looking like he's about to jizz in his pants just from holding Anzu's hands. He thinks about how good her hands feel, how much he's tired of his current girlfriends with their headbands, and how he just needs to impress Anzu with his cool psychic powers to set up his rebound once he dumps them.

It's hilarious that he thinks he's a playa.

I don't know if it's just my age and experience with these things, but, Anzu, sweetie, this is sounding dangerously close to a threat, even without him vocalizing his "soon" thought near the end.

Kokurano calls for his next victim client, and Jonouchi steps forward. Kokurano states that he's cursed, and the obvious fact that he got into trouble the previous day... and then calls for his next client once more, dismissing him out of hand. Jonouchi slouches off, and Yuugi is now the one in front of Kokurano's table. He's shy as he admits that he's skeptical of Kokurano's "powers."

The girl who told Anzu and Jonouchi to shut up earlier is up in arms about how Yuugi could doubt Kokurano when he just saw him predict an earthquake. Except that he didn't - he only saw Kokurano pull a prefabricated fortune from his cloak, so, you know, there's that. Kokurano wants to know if Yuugi thinks he's lying, and Yuugi says yes, yes he does. Yuugi gives an example of how one could pull off the prediction by writing a stack of possibilities on slips of paper beforehand, and choosing the right one as needed.

Instead of responding to the charge rationally, Kokurano does this:

That'll show him, I'm sure.

Yuugi is back in his classroom with Anzu and Jonouchi, looking a little put out. Jonouchi tells Yuugi not to fret, because clearly Kokurano is a big faker. Anzu, being uncharacteristically gullible considering her past role as a voice of reason, tells a story about how Kokurano became famous after making a prediction about a kid's house burning down that came true. The kid is still in the hospital... ooOOoooOOoooOOh....

Jonouchi is freaking out, because he's again convinced of Kokurano's psychic powers, but Yuugi still doesn't believe. Yet, he wonders what the line about countless words could mean. Why do you care if you don't believe Kokurano anyway, Yuugi? I don't know if I believe that you DON'T believe. After all, you were way more gullible back in Chapter 2.

Cut to after school, when Yuugi is preparing to walk home with Anzu and perhaps do some window shopping at the same time. He spots a library book sticking out of a desk that's overdue. He thinks he has enough time to run to the library to return the book before he meets Anzu, and while he's doing so, we see Kokurano lurking around a corner. He follows Yuugi as he tries to replace the book on its correct shelf.

Wait, is that how you return library books in Japan? I've always had to give it to a page or librarian to put back after they checked it back into their system. Otherwise, they wouldn't know which books they had and which ones were checked out. Either this is another cultural difference, or Takahashi has never been in a library.

Yami was almost too late in realizing what the fortune meant. But, from what I see above, Yuugi was the one who realized it. Did they realize it at the same time? The way the next page reads, it seems like they're actually the same person, despite the fact that they've always been described as separate people. I'm just a tad confused by the writing here.

Moving along, Yami figures out that Kokurano made sure the bookshelves would fall, and that he's a dangerous person. Crazy dangerous, because that would have most likely snapped poor Yuugi's spine. It was a hell of a lot more dangerous than the game Yami set up in the last chapter, and THAT supposedly burned a man to death.

How much you want to bet Kokurano is the arsonist that burned that kid's house down? And if he did that, he probably doesn't have any problem with rape... Uh-oh.

Anzu is in the classroom, irritated that Yuugi is late and mumbling about how she may as well be at work earning her New York money. Kokurano is outside the door with a bottle of chloroform, ready to make his "prediction" come true. He reminds her of it when he enters the classroom, hands behind his back, saying that the person she's waiting for won't come, but the "wonderful" man will. He proceeds to chloroform her from behind and she's out for the count.

So, Kokurano has the gall to think he's wonderful, as he presses a chloroform-soaked rag under a girl's nose. That's not a terribly inaccurate representation of how rapists think, actually. Thinks he's hot shit and any girl is lucky to have him, even if she's unconscious. If he had the courage to out right ASK for a date or sex and got turned down, chances are he'd be inclined to "punish" the woman who crushed his delusions of grandeur humiliated him with rape too.

Dude, that wasn't your power. THAT WAS THE CHLOROFORM, YOU MORON.

Thankfully, Yami poses in the doorway before this runt can start removing his pants. He tells Kokurano that his prediction failed when asked how he could possibly be there, then says he'll believe Kokurano is a psychic if he beats him at a little game. The last couple of games I didn't really buy, because I didn't see why the opponent would take the challenge. This one, I get it. If there's one thing that frauds love, it's the possibility of someone eventually validating their bullshit.

Anzu is still semi-conscious enough to hear Yami's voice, but drops off into unconsciousness soon after. In the meantime, Yami is setting up the game.

The old dishes and tablecloth trick? Meh. I was hoping for something a little more... psychic-y? Something clever with Tarot Cards? Maybe a crystal ball? No?

Dammit, Takahashi, in the second chapter you FORCED the line about a roll of the dice so your game could involve a die, but you refused to go with the obvious here? I don't know why I'm surprised.

Yami declares that the loser will cause the bottle to fall to the floor and be knocked unconscious by the drug. Anyone else notice that the last couple of games haven't involved a "penalty game?" Are we moving away from those? Kokurano is confident that he will beat Yami, and they play rock-paper-scissors to see who will go first, just like in the first chapter! Yami takes the first pull, with Kokurano rooting for the bottle to fall right off the bat.

Of course it doesn't, but Kokurano can't keep his damn mouth shut either way. During his turn, he proclaims that the bottle won't fall, and when it doesn't, he says that's proof he's psychic. I say he needs to know what words mean before he uses them. They continue to take turns pulling away the paper, and the bottle gets closer and closer to the edge. Eventually it's teetering over the side, and it's Kokurano's turn.

Yami rightly says that there's no way that Kokurano can pull the last piece of paper from under the bottle without it falling. He not-so-rightly says that if Kokurano is really a psychic, he should be able to lift the bottle safely with his mind. I don't believe powers to predict the future and powers of telekinesis are the same thing there, buddy.

Still, Kokurano seems to be down to try, and concentrates REAL HARD on moving the bottle with his mind. He's visualizing the chloroform lifting with his eyes closed, and thinking that this vision is as good as reality, takes hold of one of the remaining sheets. Guess Yami lied about this being the last one, because there's clearly two there.

Yami says that Kokurano is just a nut job, but he can pull on the paper if he really believes the bottle is floating. His face is strained with what I'm assuming is the effort of keeping up his fantasy concentration, and ends up dousing himself in chloroform. Night-night.

When he fell, Kokurano's cloak fell open, and revealed that Yuugi was right. Kokurano's predictions were all pre-written for whatever occasion happened to arise. There's one about Japan sinking there too, which is amusing for obvious reasons. Yami has another monologue about how Kokurano never had the courage to face the fact that he never had any powers to begin with, and that's why he lost. This is the fourth time I've had to point out that your antagonist is not listening, Yami.

He goes on to say that by the time he wakes up, everyone at school will have seen the truth of how Kokurano makes his predictions. If you ask me, that's the least this dickwad deserves. It was implied that he committed arson, he almost dropped some library shelves on Yuugi, AND he attempted to rape Anzu. That's a serious rap sheet for a high-schooler; this kid should be tried as an adult and sent to prison.

Anything to add, Yami?

What?

W-what???

Yami, she's not sleeping. SHE'S BEEN DRUGGED. What the fuck kind of thing is that to say about someone who has been rendered unconscious and violated? You may as well say, "Yeah, that's pretty fucked up, but hey, she's cute when she can't say no, right?"

This ending... Let me take a moment to ruminate on the horrible awkward thing that just happened... I mean, I guess Takahashi had to show that there was some chemistry, right? She likes him, and it's not unrequited, right? But... There are better ways to go about that, much more sensitive, less CREEPY ways, and... WOW. WOW.

Well, at least he's not a RAPIST, right? Fuck, that's probably what Takahashi was thinking when he wrote and drew that, justifying why it was okay.

So, now that's out of the way, what did I think of this chapter overall? It was a mixed bag for me. I think the end kind of ruined what was otherwise a passably acceptable handling of an attempted rape. Again, though, I think Anzu's priorities were a little out of wack, what with her swooning over Yami's voice when she should be freaking out about the terrible assault she might endure, but to be fair, she was already swooning from the chloroform. I thought the villain was, in some ways, over the top. I mean, he burned down someone's house and tried to kill Yuugi in order to keep up the psychic facade? And did he think Anzu would be at all impressed with his raping her once she woke up? Makes me wonder what he did to those other poor girls that were wearing his headbands... *shiver*

Most of all, I was let down by the game this time around. I understand why Takahashi wanted to use chloroform as a punishment, but maybe he could have gotten just a LITTLE more creative, here? Again, though, I have to acknowledge that since the "psychic" didn't use common tools, Yami would have had to bring them for the game, and I don't know why or how Yami would have psychic tools on him at the school. Still could have rigged a pendulum or something, though.

Other than some shaky plot elements, this wasn't a bad story. I liked the fact that we're in the school and not dealing with yet another bullying plot. That's always nice. Yuugi didn't get beaten up. I am wondering how that shrimp pretending to predict the future managed to escape being bullied like Yuugi was in the first three chapters though. I can't imagine someone who would deserve that shit MORE.

Overall... I'm just left confused. I want to like this chapter. But I don't. It's a little like that new Selena Gomez song "Hands to Myself." It's really fun in some ways, but really creepy in others. I actually kind of think that song and this chapter are a match made in heaven.

Somebody hook that shit up.