Yu-Gi-Oh Manga: 031 Murder Mansion

Welcome back to everyone's favorite game show, Who's Molesting Anzu Mazaki! I'm your host, Writch Codex, here to remind you that Kazuki Takahashi wants his readers to know that all his male characters are either active abusers or bystanders who can't be bothered to care about abuse! Last time our abuser was an old butler and torture expert working for Seto Kaiba, and the time before that it was a toddler with a complex! Make your bets, folks!

Or, you know, we could go WITHOUT gratuitously assaulting our only female character. That would probably be preferable, if I'm truthful.

Last time, Yuugi and friends made it to the Murder Mansion that Kaiba built in the middle of his building, completely with dark, foreboding sky. They're still in the building, right? What is that, a virtual projection? It looks pretty good.

Everyone stares up at the building with apprehension, except for Jonouchi, who looks like he's about to shit his pants for the fifth time in the last hour. Yuugi comments that the place looks creepy, while wondering what new tricks Kaiba could have set up for them inside. He looks down at the sound of a particularly loud heartbeat. Another couple of beats pass before Yuugi realizes that the sound is coming from his pocket, and he reaches in to pull out his grandfather's Duel Monsters deck. He's convinced the cards are pulsing.

Okay, just because we're going for a creepy theme here, it doesn't mean we have to start pulling Edgar Allen Poe references out of our asses. No one needs that.

Yuugi stares at the cards, and his friends gather around him, Jonouchi wondering what's wrong while Anzu asks what he's got there. Yuugi says that the cards are telling him that Sugoroku is in critical condition on the verge of death. Everyone gasps, well, except...

I don't really like comparing myself to Jouji, but crap, my sentiments exactly. Seems like we're taking this idea of Sugoroku's soul being in his cards far more literally than we should be here.

Yuugi tries to communicate back through the cards at his grandfather, telling him through his intense stare that he'll beat Kaiba with the soul-cards. Then Jonouchi and Honda, driven by the urgency of Yuugi starting to talk to CARDS, encourage him to move forward. Honda especially seems to be shouting a pep talk at Yuugi, telling him they should beat this new game as quickly as possible. With the announcement that they're going inside, Honda kicks open the door to the mansion.

Good advice, Yuugi, only it's about to get darker. The doors slam closed on their own, and Anzu goes back to pull on them and finds that they're locked. Honda's kicking them open before should have splintered the jamb, not allowing them to even fully fit together anymore, let alone lock, but okay manga.

After Anzu declares that they're trapped, Jonouchi goes to try and budge the door, and asks anyone if they have anything on them with a sharp point that he can use to pick the lock. Anzu thinks this is a weird thing for Jonouchi to know how to do, and Jouji yells at him that they shouldn't be trying to go back out the way they came when they have to find the exit anyway. Why do I find myself agreeing with this reprehensible little bastard so much in this chapter?? Jonouchi mutters that Jouji is a brat, but Honda agrees with his nephew that they should be looking for a way to get closer to beating the whole park, and Yuugi suggests everyone split up to look for another door.

They all go in different directions to search, and Yuugi comes across a suit of armor that has a piece of paper stuck to the visor. He pulls it off, trying to decipher what it says in the semi-darkness.

Well, that's a clue if I ever saw one.

Yuugi sweatdrops as he wonders what it means, and judges it as creepy. Well, it is a murder mansion, what did you expect? Jonouchi comes back around to declare that there is no exit, but Honda decides that he's going to go up the stairs before assuming it's hopeless. Unfortunately, that just reveals that there is no second floor, and the stairs just lead to the dark ceiling.

Just then...

Boy sure loves his holograms. His projection welcomes them to his mansion of murder, and Jonouchi is amazed he's floating in the air. Yuugi has to tell him that it's a hologram, which is a tad insulting to Jonouchi's character. He should have been able to figure that out on his own - he's not completely stupid.

Hologram!Kaiba assumes they already searched for an exit, but didn't find one, and tells them that something awful will happen to them if they don't find a way out. Yuugi and Honda stare.

Kaiba, how could you even think of having your hologram-self telling this story without a campfire?? You're even more twisted than I thought! Seriously, though, your version of this story has a "puzzle expert" trying to put bodies back together? Are you not aware that they have forensic specialists for that sort of thing, or is this yet another indication that this world has no law-enforcement personnel to speak of and instead relies on gamers to solve its problems?

If it's the latter, it sounds like Jane McGonigal would have her work cut out for her.

Hologram!Kaiba says that they know where his story is going, and proceeds to tell them that this "Chopper Man" is in the mansion with them anyway. Yuugi and Jonouchi are stunned as hologram!Kaiba continues to tell them that Kaiba Corp values twisted individuals as employees, and he hired the killer for this particular attraction. If "Chopper Man" was never found, Kaiba, how the hell did you manage to hire him for this project? And if you were the first to find him, how did you hire him without him hacking off your stupid face too? In other words, I'm calling your extremely stupid bluff. Fight me.

Chuckling, hologram!Kaiba tells them that they should escape before they have to meet the man he hired to be his "Chopper." He's even nice enough to point them in the direction of the exit, the wall behind them that contains four holes that are labeled with numbers. Yuugi observes this out loud.

Yet another game that requires more people than Kaiba originally anticipated. Although, they are close enough together that two people could have put a hand into each hole, so I'm willing to let this one go for how it could easily it could have fit the number he might have expected. I still don't quite believe this isn't another continuity error, though.

Hologram!Kaiba mocks Yuugi by saying he looks awfully suspicious, but he'll never get out of the mansion if someone doesn't press the correct switch. So, everyone hesitantly sticks a hand in a hole, Jonouchi having to convince himself audibly to go through with it, because it's the only way out.

They didn't see that guillotine before? At all? I know I've made fun of Takahashi before for thinking his audience is stupid, but only letting his characters see obvious things once the audience gets to see them too is taking that in an extreme direction.

Hologram!Kaiba laughs, explaining that only one of the switches each of their hands are hovering over is the correct one to open the exit and release their hands. If they press the wrong one, the blade will drop, and the blade will also drop after five minutes of inactivity. Yuugi curses through the sweat pouring down his face, and hologram!Kaiba taunts him with the knowledge that the clue is hidden somewhere in the room with him and his friends. He wishes them good luck before the hologram disappears.

Yuugi shouts Kaiba's name, but he's already gone. Someone wonders which button could be the right one, and Jonouchi is frustrated that they can't just try them all. Yuugi says the right choice must have something to do with the numbers above their respective holes, listing them all out consecutively. Anzu says they resemble binary code while Jonouchi is freaking out that he doesn't understand what that means. Honda reminds them that the clue is supposed to be somewhere in the room.

This prompts Yuugi to pull the piece of paper he found earlier out of his pocket. He examines it carefully, then Honda does too, not understanding it any better and finding it just as creepy. Anzu thinks it's an iffy kind of clue. Honda is no good with puzzles, so he can't see how the numbers and letters could connect with each other. Anzu points out that Yuugi solved the Millennium Puzzle, though, so he should be able to figure it out. Way to put Yuugi on the spot, Anzu.

Still, Yuugi takes back the paper and studies it. Jouji lets us know he still exists by showing up with a look of total lack of concern on his face and a finger up his nose again as he sits on the floor. Yuugi begins to spell out the word on the paper slowly and realizes something as he gets to the second "L." The word is spelled wrong, since there's only one "L" in "blood." Honda reminds him of the time; two minutes until their hands are chopped off. Yuugi glares at the paper for another minute, Jouji stretching and yawning in his disinterest. Jonouchi reminds Yuugi of the time now, the blade hanging over all of them like a shadow.

Yuugi is sweating more than ever, and doesn't think he can figure it out. He curses Kaiba, because his grandpa's waiting on his help, and so is everyone else, all because of him. Honda shouts that there's no more time, and the blade begins to drop. Suddenly, Yuugi understands and as Jonouchi and Honda are staring at the oncoming blade, Yuugi tells Anzu to press her switch, number 11. Anzu wastes no time in tapping the button.

Fuck yeah you were right! The cuffs that hold all their hands in place retract, and Honda and Jonouchi are jubilant at being free. They congratulate Yuugi on figuring it out and he breathes a sigh of relief as Anzu asks how he managed to solve the puzzle.

Honda points behind Jouji (still mining for nose gold), drawing everyone's attention to the trapdoor that has appeared in the floor. Jonouchi is super stoked to get the hell on out of there, but all Jouji has to say is that he was bored while they were all almost having their hands chopped off. Behind him, the trapdoor opens a crack, showing two glowing eyes and a lumberyard grin.

Uh-oh...

So, what did I think of this chapter overall? I'm so grateful that we didn't have an answer to our beginning game show question! I've lost my job as host because of this, of course, but it was the BEST job to lose, so no complaints here!

The lack of sexual assault in this chapter was only the beginning of things to like about it, though. I'm a BIG fan of haunted house themes, and a BIGGER fan of puzzle rooms, and this chapter combined those two loves of mine beautifully. Sure, there were the problems that I mentioned above, like how there were four holes for four individuals when Kaiba should have only prepared for two, and the fact that the guillotine was mysteriously invisible to the foursome until the audience got to look at it. These were minor issues with a great puzzle, though.

It was easy for ME to solve. I'm a native English speaker with a pretty good grasp on spelling in my language. However, I can believe that Yuugi and friends struggled with it where I would have been out of there in half a second. For four Japanese high school students whose use of English is probably restricted mostly to the classroom, this would have been difficult to parse, even more so because of the fact that the word "blood" would probably not have been a very important vocabulary word in official studies.

What I'm saying is that this game brought the quality and class of our characters, especially the main one, back up in a hurry. I was nervous going in, afraid that the pattern of poorly thought-out plots would continue, but this was a breath of fresh air after the figurative farts the last couple were. It's GREAT not to be breathing through my shirt again!